tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post834989310835202315..comments2014-09-12T11:11:14.382-07:00Comments on The Appel of My Eye...: From a daughter's perspective: My brush...or rather 'Punch you in the gut'...with Alzheimer's.Katrina http://www.blogger.com/profile/04699861004233760775noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-90613902807446870522013-09-10T19:52:33.834-07:002013-09-10T19:52:33.834-07:00Thank you so much! This helps!!Thank you so much! This helps!!Dave and Amy Killehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00184325424143953883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-44003877856644139542013-09-09T19:06:31.433-07:002013-09-09T19:06:31.433-07:00I'm not going to lie...that's a tough one!...I'm not going to lie...that's a tough one! Gifts were hard. During the first few years, I would get him a new Mizzou tie, or a new Mizzou shirt, and almost always a Word Search. During those first few years, he LOVED to do word searches. But the last couple of years, especially the last year, he had a hard time focusing, and I don't think he really cared or understood what was going. The last year at Christmas, I had gotten him some wool socks and some flannel shirts because he was constantly cold. Another issue we had was with his "gift for mom". He always prided himself on finding mom the perfect gift. The first year that he couldn't drive, my oldest sister and I took him for an afternoon out...we went to lunch and took him to a couple of stores and helped him find mom the right gift. We had so much fun. The last year was quite a bit tougher. It was hard to keep him on track, he was uncomfortable, moved very very slow, and couldn't make decisions. I ended up picking out the gift, buying it, wrapping it, and signing the card. It broke my heart, but I knew that I could never let a holiday or birthday of mom's go by without a gift from him. I think your idea of a girls day out is awesome...but I can definitely relate to your comment about them getting anxious when mom wasn't around. Looking back, I would just recommend just being with them. If there's one thing I would take back, it would be not spending enough time just sitting with him. Holding his hand. Not needing to say or do anything, just let him know that you were there. My biggest fear, even up to the end, is that he would feel lonely. I never wanted that for him. Your gift to your mom is just that you're there. I don't know if that helps at all, and I feel like I have rambled, but hopefully you can get something out of that!Katrina https://www.blogger.com/profile/04699861004233760775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-57218193256124031942013-09-06T19:32:24.548-07:002013-09-06T19:32:24.548-07:00Thank you so much, that means a lot and I might re...Thank you so much, that means a lot and I might reach back out to you as this progresses. I do have 1 question, how did you handle holidays/birthdays with your dad, specifically gifts? The past 2 yrs my sisters & I have made a conscious effort to not give my mom material gifts (unless its something she needs) but rather give her the gift of "a dinner out with the girls", or "a over night trip to the Ozarks where we shop/eat out etc." this gives my dad a break & we can give her a gift of our time vs something material that she doesn't need. Recently though its been tougher to do these outings as she gets anxious if my dad isn't there especially if we are out in the evening. I know this will only get worse and to a point where we can no longer do this. What do you recommend? Dave and Amy Killehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00184325424143953883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-62621396135465383212013-09-06T10:42:22.729-07:002013-09-06T10:42:22.729-07:00Thank you for sharing your story with me! My hear...Thank you for sharing your story with me! My heart hurts for you and your family! I have those same feelings for my nieces and nephews, especially the younger ones! <br />I, myself, have a lingering sadness that my dad will miss so many things in my own life. I feel angry, sad, cheated...but I also know that I can't live the rest of my life with those feelings. He wouldn't want that one bit. I have my really down days where I cry...a lot...and then I have those days where I am so proud of the man he was and used to be that I can't stop smiling! I love to hear stories about my dad and what a great person he was!<br />I pray that you and your family will find peace and understanding along this journey! No one quite understands how tough this is until they have lived through it...and it being a parent makes it 1,000 times harder. Let me know if you ever need to talk to someone who has gone through it. Katrina https://www.blogger.com/profile/04699861004233760775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-52357228177750786432013-09-05T20:30:09.266-07:002013-09-05T20:30:09.266-07:00Thank you so much for sharing this. My family &...Thank you so much for sharing this. My family & I are going through the exact same thing with my mom. She is 59 and was diagnosed 4 yrs ago. In 1997 my moms mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's and passed away in 2008. After going through this with my Grandma I never imagined just 1 year later going through this with my mom. For my mom things aren't progressing quickly yet but I know at anytime they can. I'm mainly struggling with the "anger" stage myself, angry that this happened/is happening to my mom, angry she won't snap out of it & remember things, angry my dad has to spend his retirement dealing with this and angry my husband is part of a family that has to go through this with someone. Most of all I'm angry/disappointed that my 3 children are going to grow up & not remember her as the fun/outgoing/always laughing Grandma, they will more than likely remember all the horrible effects this disease does to someone. Thank you again for sharing your story. Means a lot to read my family & I aren't alone. Dave and Amy Killehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00184325424143953883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-49126085403313730332013-09-03T07:15:20.315-07:002013-09-03T07:15:20.315-07:00Thanks friend, that is so nice to hear!!! I know ...Thanks friend, that is so nice to hear!!! I know he is with me all the time and he is always on my mind! The way he held himself, the way he treated others, the way he helped everyone around him...well, that's the type of person I want to be. I had an amazing role model and hope that I can carry out his legacy!<br />It was very emotional, but I wanted to get it all written down for our benefit and to hopefully benefit someone else. Katrina https://www.blogger.com/profile/04699861004233760775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-89422204542334003982013-09-03T07:12:26.305-07:002013-09-03T07:12:26.305-07:00Thanks Deb! The day of his party was an amazing d...Thanks Deb! The day of his party was an amazing day! We couldn't believe how "normal" he seemed. After everyone had left, he had slipped again, but we didn't care. We had him back for those few hours and we will forever remember that day as the last great day we had with him. He was one special guy and is missed every single day! Katrina https://www.blogger.com/profile/04699861004233760775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-88700046177072673982013-09-03T06:25:46.290-07:002013-09-03T06:25:46.290-07:00What a touching blog Trina! I bet very emotional t...What a touching blog Trina! I bet very emotional to right but so therapeutic! Love you so much and every time I read or hear you speak about your father I just know he is so very proud of all you have done. You are amazing!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14237831165143469877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-1791396812568620122013-09-03T04:13:59.396-07:002013-09-03T04:13:59.396-07:00Katrina, thank you. And I'm so sorry! When w...Katrina, thank you. And I'm so sorry! When we went for his party, he seemed--as you said--so normal--I did not till just now understand allthat you had already been though. And thank you for sharing how hard it was. I'm so sorry. And yet I know that that sharing helps ALL of us. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10339673606854822920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-2435120052361420662013-09-02T19:00:59.688-07:002013-09-02T19:00:59.688-07:00Thanks Laura!!! It was tough, tough, tough gettin...Thanks Laura!!! It was tough, tough, tough getting it all written out...brings out those emotions that are no fun. BUT, if I can help someone with my story, then I know that it was worth it. Dad was always looking to help others even when it wasn't comfortable! I hope to be half the Christian person he was.<br />Your family has been such an important part of our family's lives over the last 5 years...standing there with us every step of the way...and I can't thank you all enough!<br />Love you guys as if you were my own family!Katrina https://www.blogger.com/profile/04699861004233760775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4581852177907788964.post-87145949543731862112013-09-02T18:38:46.016-07:002013-09-02T18:38:46.016-07:00Oh Trina! My heart just ached for you and your mo...Oh Trina! My heart just ached for you and your mom and sisters as I read your emotional story and remembered what you all went through the past 5 years :o( Thank you for sharing it with us! Your Dad would be so proud of all that you're doing to make a difference, to maybe keep other families from experiencing the heartache you all had to go through. Love you!Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16393729914252175735noreply@blogger.com